solicitous thoughts, profound adventures: Moments of consumerism and relaxation

Ok. So it's funny. Ever since I've been here in Melbourne, I've had a lingering sense of disdain. Have my 'rose tinted glasses' been taken off? Is it the weather? (which has actually been quite nice, apart from today...) Is it my hangover?

... Or are the throes of unemployment - or, should I say, 'leisure' - taking its toll?

Admittedly, I haven't gone for my usual wander down to the river, or gone north to the lush parks and gardens. But being in the middle of the city has me wondering what I have been seeing in the place?

This is especially alarming seeing that I'm, uhh, going to MOVE to London soon.

I was yakking to Mike on Saturday about this. Whenever I have been here, it's been somehow related to work.

For so long, I've for some reason identified with 'the suit and tie' - and been driven to associate myself with the power that it holds. When I'm wearing a suit, I must admit I feel an increased sense of power, confidence... almost arrogance.

Walking around on Friday observing the 'suits' I found myself, instead of... well, 'yearning' for a 'better suit and tie' (read: job/money/toys/stuff/life) all I could think about was sitting in a lush meadow with my favourite people and a nice bottle of wine.

This conversation with Mike then turned into an interesting career topic that I think I need to put some more thought into. But basically, from someone who thrived on the hustle-and-bustle of the business world, how to manipulate the personalities that lie within and the success (and, I guess, the power) that is rewarded - I think I am totally uninterested in returning to that place.

What will I do? Who will I be? What will I identify with? I'm not really sure.

I guess that is part of the reason that I'm doing this. No, not ranting, but getting out of that environment. But as time goes on, it's going to be increasingly hard to reintegrate back into that place. And, to be honest, I'm not entirely sure I ever want to.

I think I have a few tricks up my sleeve to keep myself occupied. Certainly not 'a means to an end' ... but something that I can give (without losing), that feeds my increasing creative streak and avoids the exploitation and fear that business business thrives on.

But it's not all dark and 'orrible over here. I've been relaxing rather nicely. And exploring the wonderful world of imported beer, thanks to Mark who works at the local boutique bottle store: